Ugh this is so random

Friday, December 16, 2016

Hellooooo :PP

feb-dec. well i've been dead for that long, huh? now i just rose up from the ashes (jk burn baby burn) and decided to visit my long-abandoned blog. but anyway, i'm just randomly typing cause i don't plan to post anything in particular, hence the title.





me trying to reach my keyboard rn




idk why but bila kat kampung ni tetiba rasa nak blogging, kat rumah teringat pun tak huhu (kesian blog ni). i have so much to say but they're scattered in all places, and my crumpled thoughts won't even make a post because they're so rubbish and not worth it haha. so yup bear with me when you read this post okay cause if you can handle my randomness, there's nothing in the world that you can't handle! (hyperbole tahap dewa ya allah ya allah) 

it's nothing much i just teringat spontaneous stupid things i've done (and still doing maybe hm). ok la cita camni, dulu kan masa zaman baru nak up kat facebook, to be precise masa darjah 6 tengah jakun gila main facebook sebab rasa baru kenal dunia hahah, i literally added everyone, from my *close* friends to strangers yg ntah sapa2 je just for the sake of having 3k and more friend lists!! name it bruh, searching random people's names, clicking 'add as friend' when their names appear beside any posts i came across, looking at people's friend's lists and it all worked with just clicks~ and yeah i did it i got more than 3k friend lists *throw confetti* *throw stones*!! achievement unlocked wehh at that time hahhaha so proud of myself! *blow nails*

and as for my friends pulak, i added them into the family list with super crazy relations. there's this one guy from my primary school, he's my grandfather in facebook family list and other girls as grandmother, wife bla3 wattaheck was that all about gosh! ntah apa2 je aku ni -__-


aku tak layan sangat other social medias dulu sbb aku noob hahah tahu main facebook je. i did have myspace, formspring, friendster, kawanlah and many more.... but they're just mere accounts, i was so loyal to facebook :'))) myspace tu pun aku buat sebab my ex (bodo gila masa ni) suruh, kalau tak memang tak ah nak buat sebab bosannya myspace bagi aku hahahaha. formspring dah lama dah pun lupa password and memang takde dah kot sekarang so does friendster and kawanlah (ni sebab ntah kawan2 mana aku kenal ada pastu nak add bagai lmao).


ok back to facebook, bila dah makin dewasa dan matang (ayat memang takleh blah lagi ke eee) aku baru sedar yang facebook feeds aku makin merapu sebab tengoklah friend lists aku semua merapu je aku add T___T i was like wattaheck are they still doing here ingatkan dah habis zaman merapu kat facebook eee i hate seeing ridiculous and annoying stuff on my feeds (they make me cringe so bad goddd) so i removed most of the people i involuntarily added back then, and it was damn tiring!! can you imagine you've added almost 2k random people then you wanted to remove them, twas a hell lot of job to do haha! but yeah instead of creating a new facebook account, i just deleted them all. why? there're a lot of memories buried there which i can't simply delete or else i'll regret for my whole life lol. and cause i think facebook gave me great time of craziness i wouldn't get now cause i've grown up (eceyh muntah la muntah) hahaha but it's true peeps! people won't tolerate if you act stupid now (by stupid i mean really stupid ah you get what i mean rite), people expect you to be more mature and you have to, if you want to survive in this clod-blooded world (sigh)
now tell me sape je guna facebook lagi. my friends no longer use it, maybe sikit2 but you won't find a large community there. yang banyak guna are my teachers, relatives yang dah kahwin and orang2 merapu yang aku add dulu wakaka. it's kinda sad la that people are shifting to another social medias when facebook is the father of them all, a bit sad la just a bit. whoever read this go visit your facebook they miss you ahhaha. (please note that facebook didn't pay me or anything to convince you, it's my honest thought weyy hahah *bajet2* ) so yeah that's my stupid story. you may puke now congrats for reading it this far! muahahah xoxo~ adios!


Beauty Queen

Wednesday, February 10, 2016


lana just uploaded a music video for freak. well lana i would love to go to california with you lol. i think im in love with this lady. i mean, God i love her music, i feel that it's so close to my heart. and lana is the true queen, of her own empire that she built. you go lana, i love you!

i fell in love with her music since i first listened to blue jeans, which happened to be the soundtrack of the movie starred Dakota Fanning- Now Is Good. and i was like God, this is my jam! this is my music! and i can't stop listening to her ever since. sometimes the lyrics are confusing, i can say all the time, but i just love how she put the lyrics very deep and can only be understood at certain points. so mysterious huh? 

most of my friends said her music are kinda boring and make them wanna sleep hahaha i understand that, maybe because of her monotonous voice in most of her songs, but hey i like that. it's so cinematic and vintage-like, which defines my interest. people said she creates such sad musics, but that's what portrays her personality and identity. that's something she built and hold, and become one unique identity of hers. 

she's so pretty in her lustrous long hair and makeup, so classy ehmergerd! if i were to be freehair, i would want to look like lana lol. i would love to meet you one day, and shake your hands for real. 

this pic appears in the question in quizup btw lol



so vintage i like!

there you go, one post is done. basically i have nothing to talk so i suddenly think, why not i write about lana and yeah here it is. sad moment dearies, my iphone broke down and it turned out to be because of broken IC of backlight in the motherboard of my iphone. i need a hell lot of money to repair it but yeah better than to buy a new one because i still love my phone nooo way i would want to replace it. 

p/s: im listening to lana rn.

bye. 

confidence

Friday, January 15, 2016



it seems like my posts have gotten really boring. truth is i feel like i'm having shitty days lately. and i'm losing my confidence, slowly. i dunno but everything i do is just not right and i end up regretting it. i have a lot like soooo many insecurities. i know everyone's not perfect, but i think it's just me who is looking down to my own self and idk why. i'm just not my old self, like how i used to be. i'm totally a different person, you got meh? i guess it all comes from experiences in life and how you deal with it. and i perfectly know i'm not strong enough even though most people say i'm strong. but they never know the dilemma that i face every time i look into myself. obviously, girls have insecurities, and i'm the one included in the ones who are on the top list of having to deal with great insecurities in every single thing they do. is it normal that you feel this way or am i exaggerating it? there are days when you feel totally f up for no reasons at all. well there are reasons, something that has been so wrong all this time and suddenly on that day you explode. you want everyone to notice what you are always up to, but this expectation ends up hurting you. you know you're weak and fragile. just like glass, it looks sturdy from outside but once you carelessly hold it, it breaks into pieces. that's how i can precisely describe how i am all the time. maybe i should realise that in life, not all people really know you. not even the closest one to you. so perhaps i should not expect too much, cause that will bring great pain. yea, that's what i hope for. gaining back my confidence is always what i wish for all this time, and i hope that day will come. come back the missing piece of my soul, i need you.