I might think it's unnecessary to write a post just about another year of my life, but probably, in a few more months, a few more years to come, I'd thank myself for letting out my thoughts here.
Despite so many things happening in 2018, I felt like the year went by like a breeze. But I'm wrong, everything matters. I've been reading The Bullet Journal Method and this line : 'you've worked incredibly hard on something, only to discover that it leaves you feeling empty' dawned on me that it's exactly what I've been feeling these past few years. The key to eradicate that feeling is to be mindful of what you're doing, something that I desperately want to regain. So here I am, sitting in my room, trying to gather pieces of memories from the last 12 months and put it in words which I've no idea how to even begin.
First thing to note : I graduated from college on June, having done A-levels that had taken 2 years of my life journey. Not so many great memories that I'd kept, partly it was my fault for not making the best out of my life during those 2 years. However, I'm thankful for the people that I met, mainly my friends, who still matter to me now. Thank you for making my life fun and somewhat memorable.
I'm so thankful that I made it through A-levels, and qualifying me to continue my studies to the UK. I remembered being so scared of not getting to fly overseas because of how little effort I put into my studies. I was so distracted with my own bubble of negative thoughts and having little motivation to study everyday. Nonetheless, Allah made it possible and Alhamdulillah my A-levels results allowed me to continue my scholarship to the UK, specifically London.
I only had a month (or even less) to prepare before going abroad. Everything happened so fast, I was so busy doing this and that. Getting my visa done, doing medical checkup, renewing scholarship contract, attending pre-departure programme, buying necessary stuff to bring here. It has been a hell of a ride within that quick span of time but thankfully, I managed to get through.
Second thing to note : I started my university journey. To be frank, it was a shock to me of how busy university life is, it still is. I'm still trying to get ahold of many things, and I hope I have the strength to continue. I experienced a lot of things within a month coming here. I came here with no allowance from my sponsor due to some difficulties they were having. It lasted for almost 2 weeks, so I lived off borrowing someone else's money, which I really hate doing but that was the best option available. My house contract only commenced on 26/9 and I arrived London on 17/9, so within that period, me and one of my housemates stayed at someone else's place. So glad to have met kind people who allowed us to stay at their places. We finally managed to move to our house after nearly 2 weeks. It's undoubtedly a huge relief to finally have a place to call home here in London.
Another challenge was for me to get my Biometric Residence Permit (BRP) from my university. The immigration officer at the border control in Heathrow Airport carelessly forgot to stamp my visa, so I had to go back to the airport after being told that the stamp was necessary to collect my BRP. Though I didn't get the stamp, I got an official letter from UK immigration office saying that I had entered the country and that was sufficient to prove my entry to the UK. It was so crazy and tiring because I had no money and place of my own. Again, alhamdulillah everything was settled despite the obstacles.
Studying abroad is a challenge itself, being far away from home and leaving your comfort zone. But that's the whole point, without challenges you cannot learn and grow. On a side note, I got to travel to a few places. I went to Sheffield, Scotland, Spain and Manchester. I shall make another blog post about my 10-days winter trip to Spain but let's wait till I have more free time. I actually planned to create travel vlogs and already had some footages but I gotta find time because it's definitely time consuming to edit and stuff.
After my Spain trip, I visited my high school friends in Manchester. It felt like good old times catching up with them. Thank you girls for making me feel at home again, truly appreciate it. I was so happy seeing them doing well. Syahidah, being a married lady, had never changed one bit when I met her after so many months?? (except carrying a baby now but even that's not really visible *applause*). She even started a homemade macaroons (and some other pastries) business, super proud of you! Iffy, someone that I can relate to whenever we talk about our university struggles, and always have wise advice popping out that had never fail to amaze and slap me out of my useless thoughts. The highlight of our meeting was playing truth or dare game, didn't expect it to be so fun cause we never really intentionally did super crazy things on camera ahahah. Already missing them and I'll be back to meet you guys (and have more food :P).
A note to 2019 : I'm trying to dive into bullet journalling with a proper guidance to get my life back on track. I've yet to finish the book but hopefully it'll be worth my time investing into it. 2019 will witness me trying to be a better Muslim, treating more nicely the people that had always been there to support me and love me for who I am and be happier. Simple but I reckon this new year's resolutions will have a greater impact on my life than they had ever been.
Thanks for the memories, 2018. Happy advance new year to anyone who's reading this, hope you'll have a blast.
