happiness is a butterfly

I might think it's unnecessary to write a post just about another year of my life, but probably, in a few more months, a few more years to come, I'd thank myself for letting out my thoughts here.

Despite so many things happening in 2018, I felt like the year went by like a breeze. But I'm wrong, everything matters. I've been reading The Bullet Journal Method and this line : 'you've worked incredibly hard on something, only to discover that it leaves you feeling empty' dawned on me that it's exactly what I've been feeling these past few years. The key to eradicate that feeling is to be mindful of what you're doing, something that I desperately want to regain. So here I am, sitting in my room, trying to gather pieces of memories from the last 12 months and put it in words which I've no idea how to even begin.

First thing to note : I graduated from college on June, having done A-levels that had taken 2 years of my life journey. Not so many great memories that I'd kept, partly it was my fault for not making the best out of my life during those 2 years. However, I'm thankful for the people that I met, mainly my friends, who still matter to me now. Thank you for making my life fun and somewhat memorable.

I'm so thankful that I made it through A-levels, and qualifying me to continue my studies to the UK. I remembered being so scared of not getting to fly overseas because of how little effort I put into my studies. I was so distracted with my own bubble of negative thoughts and having little motivation to study everyday. Nonetheless, Allah made it possible and Alhamdulillah my A-levels results allowed me to continue my scholarship to the UK, specifically London.

I only had a month (or even less) to prepare before going abroad. Everything happened so fast, I was so busy doing this and that. Getting my visa done, doing medical checkup, renewing scholarship contract, attending pre-departure programme, buying necessary stuff to bring here. It has been a hell of a ride within that quick span of time but thankfully, I managed to get through.

Second thing to note : I started my university journey. To be frank, it was a shock to me of how busy university life is, it still is. I'm still trying to get ahold of many things, and I hope I have the strength to continue. I experienced a lot of things within a month coming here. I came here with no allowance from my sponsor due to some difficulties they were having. It lasted for almost 2 weeks, so I lived off borrowing someone else's money, which I really hate doing but that was the best option available. My house contract only commenced on 26/9 and I arrived London on 17/9, so within that period, me and one of my housemates stayed at someone else's place. So glad to have met kind people who allowed us to stay at their places. We finally managed to move to our house after nearly 2 weeks. It's undoubtedly a huge relief to finally have a place to call home here in London.

Another challenge was for me to get my Biometric Residence Permit (BRP) from my university. The immigration officer at the border control in Heathrow Airport carelessly forgot to stamp my visa, so I had to go back to the airport after being told that the stamp was necessary to collect my BRP. Though I didn't get the stamp, I got an official letter from UK immigration office saying that I had entered the country and that was sufficient to prove my entry to the UK. It was so crazy and tiring because I had no money and place of my own. Again, alhamdulillah everything was settled despite the obstacles.

Studying abroad is a challenge itself, being far away from home and leaving your comfort zone. But that's the whole point, without challenges you cannot learn and grow. On a side note, I got to travel to a few places. I went to Sheffield, Scotland, Spain and Manchester. I shall make another blog post about my 10-days winter trip to Spain but let's wait till I have more free time. I actually planned to create travel vlogs and already had some footages but I gotta find time because it's definitely time consuming to edit and stuff. 

After my Spain trip, I visited my high school friends in Manchester. It felt like good old times catching up with them. Thank you girls for making me feel at home again, truly appreciate it. I was so happy seeing them doing well. Syahidah, being a married lady, had never changed one bit when I met her after so many months?? (except carrying a baby now but even that's not really visible *applause*). She even started a homemade macaroons (and some other pastries) business, super proud of you! Iffy, someone that I can relate to whenever we talk about our university struggles, and always have wise advice popping out that had never fail to amaze and slap me out of my useless thoughts. The highlight of our meeting was playing truth or dare game, didn't expect it to be so fun cause we never really intentionally did super crazy things on camera ahahah. Already missing them and I'll be back to meet you guys (and have more food :P).

A note to 2019 : I'm trying to dive into bullet journalling with a proper guidance to get my life back on track. I've yet to finish the book but hopefully it'll be worth my time investing into it. 2019 will witness me trying to be a better Muslim, treating more nicely the people that had always been there to support me and love me for who I am and be happier. Simple but I reckon this new year's resolutions will have a greater impact on my life than they had ever been.

Thanks for the memories, 2018. Happy advance new year to anyone who's reading this, hope you'll have a blast.

Hi! To begin my review with, this is the second type of contact lenses that I've tried. I only buy contact lenses from trusted brands and shops, cause I don't want to risk my eyes getting infections or even go blind gurl nooo!

I bought the lenses from a Shopee Mall in the Shopee App, after reading the reviews and making sure that the product I was buying is authentic. I've tried monthly disposable contact lenses but I wasn't making a full use out of it because I was in college the whole time and it's just a hassle for me to continuously wear lenses (yes, I'm lazy). Mind you, it was grey contact lens and I had to wear uniform to college so yeah I couldn't rock it to college yall. Considering that, I wanted to try the daily lenses so I opted for Freshlook because I heard the colour selection is great and it is a trusted brand sold by optometric stores.


It has 10 pieces of contact lenses in one box and I had to buy two boxes cause my power is assymmetric. My right eye is -1.25 while my left eye is-0.25. Unfortunately, they don't sell it in -0.25 so I had to buy the plano instead. Oh, and I bought it in grey!

Here comes the real deal. My eyes felt so uncomfortable and heavy wearing it, I never experienced that with my first ever contact lenses. I put some eyedrops, worrying that it may be due to my eyes being so dry. But the discomfort didn't cease that much. It did get better when I put some eyedrop from time to time but still I feel like I'm wearing something in my eyes. I know powered lenses are supposed to help you see clearer but in my case even though it helped overcome my short-sightedness, the lense itself makes your vision slightly muddy when you place them in. The lenses also move around a lot, not that it's unsual for lenses to move around but it's just too much in my opinion. In terms of the colour, grey is actually quite a nice colour. However, I feel like there's better grey that truly pops out on dark eyes.

I think it truly depends on your eye shape to know if it's the right lenses for you. Sadly, mine doesn't go well with this lense. All in all, here's my take on this review :

• Suitable for those who only wear lenses to events 
• Can get a good deal if buy from trusted online shops

Cons :

• Move around a lot
• Feels heavy during wear time
• Uncomfortable for the eyes

Would I recommend this?
NO

p/s : I'm still in search of good affordable contact lenses, it'd be great if anyone can recommend me any! Thank you for reading :)

I thought it'd be fun to post some wishlists of makeup items considering that I may not be able to purchase them anytime soon (ya girl needa learn how to save up yall). So why not I make use of my deserted blog to remind myself that once I have money imma run to the stores or honey, just click and add to cart everything you've been wanting cause now you got cash ding ding! Okay I'm so excited to start this segment of my blog *blow nails* let's dive in people! See how crazy I can get when it comes to shopping :P

Tadadada presenting you Urban Decay Born To Run Eyeshadow Palette! Gurl, I never thought I'd feel this attached to this guy right here. Ain't he gorgeous? Look at dat colour selections gurl, he got it all!

Tbh, when I first saw this I kinda hate the packaging, idk I feel like it's messy. I prefer minimalistic sleek packaging. Maybe I wasn't born to appreciate the arts of collage, ugh so unartistic of me i know i know. Nonetheless who cares about the packaging if it has 21 freaking beautiful colours inside right! I'm especially attracted to the purple, blue and green tones in the palette. Look at that turqoise-icy blue colour named Big Sky, it's so stunning!

Another thing that is refraining me from buying this is because I already have a lot of warm-toned eyeshadow palettes that I love dearly, like ABH Modern Renaissance and Coloured Raine Queen Of Hearts. So I'll have redundant shades if I were to purchase this. But again, there's still more unique shades in here that are calling my name. Let's just see how long I can keep this as a wishlist, cause ya girl is unpredictable. She can go crazy and buy what she wants if that's what she wants. Pray for my wallet guys.

Life has its ups and downs. But it seems clearer that I only let the downs count in my life, disregarding the ups that have been desperately wanting to be noticed. It's bad, very bad. I cannot let this continue any longer. I'm so sick of it. I have to end this. From this moment onwards, I'll dedicate this blog as a witness of my progress of self revolution. Indeed, better days are coming. Wait for me.